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Movie Review: PREDATORS (Spoilers)

Now, I know word has been circulating about how “bad” Alien, AVP, and Predator movies have been lately but trust me,  Nimrod Antal’s PREDATORS delivers. Over all this is a VERY good movie by Predator standards. Basically, blowing PREDATOR and PREDATOR 2 out of the water! Just as a little side note, IF you plan on seeing this movie PLEASE go in with an open mind. I found myself constantly comparing this to AVP (One of my top 5 favorite movies of all time) and I will admit it really ruined my experience.  Over all this movie is going to be an AMAZING addition to the collection of any Alien or Predator lover out there. I know for a fact that I will probably be picking this up in a few months! (Mostly because I literally own every single Alien/Predator movie ever made, but don’t judge me)

Who doesn't love a hot girl... with a big gun

(Spoiler Alert)

The movie starts out with our main ass-kicking, ex-black ops Adrien Brody falling at terminal velocity towards an alien planet. His parachute activates and opens just enough to slow his decent though a thick canopy, where he makes a rough landing into what some would call a “sub par” movie. At this point I still had hope.

As he wonders through the jungle of this foreign planet he slowly meets up with all the main characters. The Main character is American mercenary Royce (Adrien Brody) is a lone wolf who takes the leadership role and believes ..

“There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.”   — Ernest Hemingway


The other characters you will meet include: Isabelle (Alice Braga), an Israeli military sniper; Stans (Walton Goggins), a convicted serial killer; Cuchillo (Danny Trejo), a Mexican drug cartel enforcer; Nikolai (Oleg Taktarov), a Russian special forces commando; Mombasa (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali), an African death squad member; and Hanzo (Louis Ozawa Changchien), a Yakuza enforcer. As well as the one person that doesn’t belong, Edwin (Topher Grace), who claims to be a “doctor”.

After the group settles its differences they decide to make their way out. Only shortly after the realize that they are merely the game in a predator hunting reserve. Only problem is that this isn’t just any old game reserve, it’s and entire planet. The group also encounters a new enemy we have never see before in a predator movie, Predator “dogs”.  Which were a lot scarier then they sound.

*Woof Woof

They eventually end up in what looks like a predator sacrificial camp. This is where they first encounter the predators and the movie takes off into an adrenaline filled roller-coaster ride, with twists at every turn. Especially a twist at the end that you will never expect and will literally make you say “WOW, I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming!”

The one place this movie lacked, to me, were the fights. I feel like major fighting scenes where lacking the WOW factor. Not many creative kills for this thriller but I think director Nimrod (yes the guy’s fucking name is Nimrod) Antal and writer-producer Robert Rodriguez have created a PREDATOR movie that will please anyone who gives it a chance. This is a MUST SEE for any alien or predator lover out there.

My Overall Rating: 8/10



Movie Review: 2012

Word on the Street is that 2012 equals the apocalypse.  Whatever it equals, it most certainly does not equal good movie.  At WOTS, we will generally make a half-assed attempt to be fair and put kidding aside to do so.  But I simply can’t be nice about this.  When cinema and CGI began their relationship, it looked like the beginning of a long-lasting marriage that would produce many well-performed, visually sexy, and overall well thought-out pieces of art, and in many instances it has reached and even exceeded that standard.  But no one could have envisioned the bastard child that this couple would produce in 2012.

As I watched the movie, I made mental notes of every glaring cliche I could.  Apparently the government was aware in 2010 that some ridiculous psuedo-science magic beam of fairy mucus was affecting the core of the Earth, and the world was scheduled to end right when the Mayan calendar predicted.   They try to save humanity and so on.  And of course theres the nut-job hippie who knew it all along but no one would listen but he was actually right.  I can just imagine the production meeting:

“Hey guys lets make a movie about the apocalypse in 2012.”

“Alright what did you guys have in mind?”

“Well we can’t save everyone on Earth, because that would be STUPID.”


“Well how are we going to live then?”

“Government scientists are going to know about it and the government will secretly prepare.”

“Alright that was easy, now what?”

“Well we’re not going to make a movie out of that, because that required almost no thought or effort…”

“Yeah guys and between the writers and cameramen we only spent 100 dollars, we still have a good 200 million left to  spend.”

“We need actors.”

“Yeah maybe if they’re good enough they can make our shitty script good.”

(Nods of agreement throughout the room)

“Okay what else…”

“Call up the CGI guys….All of them.”

And thus 2012 was born.  A massively over-budgeted destruction-porn flick that used a few big name actors to drag a kindergarten-level script kicking and screaming “This movie is a fucking joke!” through a plot that is so absolutely contrived and poorly thought out that I began hoping for one of the characters to look into the camera and say, “You all just got punk’d mothafuckas.”  At least then I could go home being pissed that the movie was a joke rather than being pissed that it was a joke but thought its audience was stupid enough to take it seriously.

Even the actors knew...

2012 reminds me of Miss Teen South Carolina.  Anyone can like a girl that looks good, and if they have a personality, you don’t have to hate yourself for it.  But 2012 is like a girl with no personality and no intelligence.  Granted she looks good, but her lack of intelligence and personality is just so incredibly glaring that saying that you are attracted to her just feels wrong in every way.

I guess one person disagrees with me...

I’m not just taking cheap shots at this movie.  I’m willing to go so far as to send a handwritten letter to anyone thinking about seeing this movie.  In it I will place 1 dollar.  This dollar is me paying you NOT to see it.  See, I look out for you guys.